I am currently eleven weeks out from my second figure competition. How do I feel? Well, here’s some of the thoughts I have daily:
I want to quit.
I want to win.
I don’t care if I win.
I won’t be able to make the changes I need.
I am way more on track this year than I was at this time last year.
What if I give up? Who would notice?
Is this worth my time? Efforts? Stress?
I should dedicate this time to something more productive.
I want to sit on the lazyboy and watch tv all day today.
I should’ve worked out harder, I know I had more in me.
I’m working out too much!
I need to eat more.
I need to eat less.
I am so excited to get on stage.
Oh God, I have to get back on stage!
I am so excited to workout today!
I no longer enjoy cardio.
I am pumped about these gains!
So, you ask, how am I feeling?
The answer is: inconsistent.
I posted an Instagram story this morning talking about consistency. Sometimes I believe that I am a very inconsistent individual. Then I have days where I see how my consistency and dedication has formed massive results over time.
I have found that I am consistent on the outside, but very inconsistent on the inside. This is due to my internal dialogue, which changes every minute of every day, as you read above.
I know I am on the right track, so even if I want to quit, I know that I will not. But it’s hard. It is difficult to stick with something when you don’t see the changes right away.
Instant gratification is glorious, but it isn’t realistic all the time. And when you get it, sometimes it passes by and disappears, like it never happened in the first place.
What are You struggling with? Are you having the internal struggle about something in your life? I would love to hear and maybe even help you through the process!
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